Shit, shit, and more shit.

I'm tired of all this shit. Specially, of being treated like if I had to do everything. They never do anything for me, but I'm always doing things for them. They don't even care of how I feel, they don't even think I might feel stupid.
WHAT THE FUCK! Fuck you all ok? I just hate it. When I make an effort, they just take it for them, they just do nothing. And ok, I know I gotta do it, but I'm tired of having to do it for me and for one million people more.
Sometimes I even wonder if it's right to be alive, at least in my case. Why am I here? To work for these guys? No, man, no. I don't want this.
And this is not only about my friends, it's about him. Always worrying about him, always making the effort to keep this alive, but it's just dying, it feels like I can't even stop it.

The Present

What the fuck is going on in my life? I mean, how can life change this fast? 5 months ago I was saying goodbye to that guy (who I was so stupid to believe in, cause he was just an asshole from the very first moment), and now I like this new one...
And I don't even know what to do with him. I like him, I guess he likes me, but I'm not even sure. We're supposely dating, but most part of the time it feels like he doesn't care about me, and FUCK! I'm tired of caring about people who don't give a fuck about me. (Sorry for saying "fuck" a lot).
I love when I'm with him, he kisses me and he's so caring. And I remember all the times I've been with him and they were kinda perfect but now... School started and I almost can't see him. I feel like shit, cause I want him beside me, kissing me all the time and hugging me like there's no tomorrow...
But then, I hear all my friends like "Omg! Yes my boyfriend was like this to me" and I'm like "yeah, mine did this...". It feels like we're not a coupe, like we're just friends who have kissed... like we're not meant to be together. And I'm always asking myself what to do, and I don't find the anwser. I'd love to stay with him, but it's hurting me so much to have him far away.

Sorry for being so bothering, or well, no one read this so... it's ok.

Peace <3 p="p">