What should I think?

These days I feel so stupid... one minute I'm happy and the next minute I feel like a big bag of shit.
I want to say him I love him, I want to ask him a lot of things, I want to say him he's being so stupid with the person who likes him... but I think he wouldn't care, he wouldn't be worried for my words. He talks to a lot of beautiful girls, why should he like me when he can choose between these girls and me?
I miss our stupid and funny conversations about aliens, about his smile and about how to kill him. I miss his smile so much. But if I ask him to turn his webcam on, he would say no.
And the worst thing about this situation is that he makes me get so angry when he doesn't anwser because I feel like I0m bothering him.
I guess you're going to say: how do you know this? It's easy, His behaviour shows it perfectly.
GOD! Let me be strong enough!
Peace guys! s2