Christmas

Isn't this date supposed to be like happiness and family? Isn't this date supposed to not be crying almost the whole afternoon?

Shit, shit, and more shit.

I'm tired of all this shit. Specially, of being treated like if I had to do everything. They never do anything for me, but I'm always doing things for them. They don't even care of how I feel, they don't even think I might feel stupid.
WHAT THE FUCK! Fuck you all ok? I just hate it. When I make an effort, they just take it for them, they just do nothing. And ok, I know I gotta do it, but I'm tired of having to do it for me and for one million people more.
Sometimes I even wonder if it's right to be alive, at least in my case. Why am I here? To work for these guys? No, man, no. I don't want this.
And this is not only about my friends, it's about him. Always worrying about him, always making the effort to keep this alive, but it's just dying, it feels like I can't even stop it.

The Present

What the fuck is going on in my life? I mean, how can life change this fast? 5 months ago I was saying goodbye to that guy (who I was so stupid to believe in, cause he was just an asshole from the very first moment), and now I like this new one...
And I don't even know what to do with him. I like him, I guess he likes me, but I'm not even sure. We're supposely dating, but most part of the time it feels like he doesn't care about me, and FUCK! I'm tired of caring about people who don't give a fuck about me. (Sorry for saying "fuck" a lot).
I love when I'm with him, he kisses me and he's so caring. And I remember all the times I've been with him and they were kinda perfect but now... School started and I almost can't see him. I feel like shit, cause I want him beside me, kissing me all the time and hugging me like there's no tomorrow...
But then, I hear all my friends like "Omg! Yes my boyfriend was like this to me" and I'm like "yeah, mine did this...". It feels like we're not a coupe, like we're just friends who have kissed... like we're not meant to be together. And I'm always asking myself what to do, and I don't find the anwser. I'd love to stay with him, but it's hurting me so much to have him far away.

Sorry for being so bothering, or well, no one read this so... it's ok.

Peace <3 p="p">

Time

It's been a long time since the last time I wrote here and a lot of things happened.
First I met lots of different people, I fell in love again and for the first time, a guy really had broken my heart.
I think I broke his heart first, and the only thing he wanted was the revenge. I don't blame him for that, but I do 'cause he did it in a really bad way.
I only wanted to thank him for all the moments he has gave me, and say to him he's not in my mind anymore, apart from the thoughts I have about him finding a girl who really can stand him, 'cause actually the last time I was with him he didn't treat me really good.
Anyway, I'm also glad he introduced me to his cousin. He's been kind of my support for a long time. He is a really good guy and I'm sorry some bad things are happening to him.

I hope I'll write more here since now :)

Peace guys xXxX

New Beginnings

School starts, life changes and we learn how to live better, with no fear, no stupid loves...
And that's why I'm writting now. I know you won't notice this, but from my heart I say you "thanks" and "see you soon". I hope we'll meet one day, I'll say you "hello" in your city, and I hope you'll receive me with one smile, and like James Blunt says "I hope someday we'll meet, and talk and not just speak".
I feel I have to grow up, and continue my life, continue looking for the right person to stay with me. If you are not here, with me right now, it's for something.
I have to say that I'll never forget those moments with you, those stupid conversations and the way you smile when I say something stupid. I hope you won't forget me and the way I whistled at you.
If one day I show you this, I wish it will put a smile in your face.
Really, thanks.
I love you friend :)

Peace guys s2s2

I love you, at least, never forget me

Do you know that feeling where you think you've lost the most important thing in this world? where you feel you really would like to be with the person you like, but it's impossible because you did something you can't fix? where you feel in the future you won't like anyone else because the love of your life was that person?
THAT'S HOW I FEEL
It hurts... see how he acts like nothing happened, see you won't talk to him anymore. It's like I've lost a huge piece of my life, of my body, of my soul...
And I try to meet more boys, I try to be nice with them, and find one who I deserve, a really good boy, but... then reason I fell in love with him was the way he acted, and no boy acts like him.

I hope I'll forget him, and I'll find a boy who I deserve and who deserves me :)

Peace guys! s2

Waiting

These days I didn't think a lot about him... but then I came home, and all the memories came to my mind.
I still love him... how can I say I don't?
I'm still waiting for him to ask me why I deleted him, I'm still waiting for him to say me "baby, never leave me, I love you", I'm still waiting for one of his friends to say me "he's not feeling well, since you delete him and you don't talk to him, he acts so stupid"... but will it happen? why can't I stop thinking of him? why can't stop thinking of meet him and give him all I have? I've never met him, how do I know I love him?
There are a lot of questions in my mind...m and the'll never be anwsered...